Are you a peg legged bitch that loves to wear eye patches? do you walk multiple dogs for famous people in silver lake/ echo park? are you constantly getting mistaken for james vanderbeeks cock? would you like to make more money but suffer from an ethnic handicap? does your stool have powers of divination? do you strategize your families future over fellatio and funions? when you go down on your wife does your face look like you have been eating a big old fucking bag of cheetos? If so then don't look no further because I will fuck your mouth so hard.....that you'll be whistling dina lohan ate my baby in the illlest aussie accent since mel gibson crucified a baby dingo and called it the passion. i've got it all! nazi gold, time travel, swatch watches, french ticklers, zebras with no stripes, rosa parks bobble heads, sneeze guards, man tits,german helmets, merkins, chastity belts, minotaurs, dingle berries, dookie pearls, steel wool hand jobs, personal pan pizzas, williamsburg capris, ankle bracelets,flesh lights, pocket pussies, cliff notes, fruity pebbles and ballcuzis!(a jacuzi just for your balls!) call now! orders are flying out the fucking asshole and i cant keep up!

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